Empowered Partners: A Guide for Partners of Transgender, Non-Binary and Gender-Questioning People

For the last several months, through my anger, grief and despair, in the midst of an ongoing pandemic and the (sometimes slow, sometimes fast) collapse of the world as we have come to know it, I’ve been doing what I know to do: use what I have to make a difference where I can. For me, what I have is a love of writing and learning, a passion for supporting relationships of all kinds, and a commitment to our collective liberation, particularly around gender and sexuality. When transgender people once again became the target of hateful legislation across the country, legislation that’s part of a larger campaign to dehumanize LGBTQ+ people, as well as Black, indigenous and other people of color, I became even more focused on using my knowledge and skills to support trans people and their loved ones. The best way I can do that is through loving the transgender people in my life and by supporting partners of transgender, non-binary and gender-questioning people. 

The result of putting my head down and focusing on this project of love and liberation is my new ebook called Empowered Partners: A Guide for Partners of Transgender, Non-Binary and Gender-Questioning People. Drawing together the content I’ve shared in my online course of the same name, Empowered Partners is designed to stand alone as a resource or to be shared in community through the Empowered Partners online course. 

In the ebook, I invite partners of transgender, non-binary and gender-questioning people to explore their conditioning into the gender binary, consider new models of gender and sexuality, and discover what’s authentic to them. I also provide practical information about gender transition and some things to expect. Since the changes associated with gender transition can be challenging for some relationships, much of the book draws on my experience supporting people in building the relationship skills necessary to navigate change and conflict and improve connection. In addition to the reflection questions that accompany each chapter, I’ve created a 30 page PDF of handouts and worksheets designed to help readers dive deeper into the concepts and tools offered in the ebook. Empowered Partners: A Guide for Partners of Transgender, Non-Binary and Gender-Questioning People is now available for pre-order.

I’m grateful for the clarity of purpose this work brings me, as well as the sense of connection I feel when I facilitate online courses or hear from people who’ve been impacted by my work. Whatever your gifts, whatever your passions, however your commitments to love and liberation manifest, I hope you find a way to use what you have to make a difference where you can. The world needs us, and we always need each other.

Take good care,
Heather

5 Messages Keeping You From Being A Kick-Ass Trauma-Informed, Anti-Oppressive Provider (& How To Resist Them!)

In my work providing training, consultation and clinical supervision to a wide range of mental health and wellness providers, I get to hear about the self-defeating messages that are keeping them from showing up to their work with all of their integrity, authenticity and courage. These messages are rooted in the long held fears and shame triggers that undermine our self-worth and competence.

For providers who are new to conversations about trauma and oppression, a valuable beginner’s mind can be replaced by a harsh inner critic who derails the work before it even begins. This critic’s messages can keep really otherwise competent providers from talking with their clients, their colleagues or their supervisors about some of the most relevant material they have to work with: trauma, systemic oppression and the links between the two.

I’ve created a free downloadable worksheet: 5 Messages Keeping You From Being A Kick-Ass Trauma-Informed, Anti-Oppressive Provider (& How To Resist Them!). In this free worksheet, I’ll introduce the most common messages I hear from providers. I'll also invite you to reflect on your own critical messages about trauma and oppression and the resources you have to resist them.

What are your biggest stumbling blocks around bringing the topics of trauma and oppression into your therapeutic relationships? Send me an email and let me know. I’d love to help you work through it so that your clients can benefit from this knowledge and you can have more ease in your work.

Together, we can unlearn our negative conditioning and show up for the work that is ours to do.

Heather Branham, LCSW
she/her

Helping Therapists Challenge Social Injustice During COVID-19 Pandemic

I recently sat down, virtually, with Lynn Louise Wonders, LPC of Wonders Counseling to discuss the racial health disparities making the news during the COVID-19 pandemic. Lynn had seen my post about this topic on Instagram and invited me to share more on her YouTube channel. We talked about understanding racial health disparities through a social justice lens, the underlying principles of minority stress theory, factors that have been shown to improve mental health for marginalized people, and how to learn more through my upcoming supervision and consultation group.. I hope that you’ll check out the video and let me know what you think in the comments. Thanks to Lynn for inviting me to share with her community of therapists about ways to challenge social injustice during (and beyond!) the pandemic.

The pandemic, minority stress theory, & racial health disparities

I am sad, angry and scared about the news that Black people have been disproportionately impacted by the pandemic. I am not at all surprised by it. Black people and those who are in solidarity with Black communities are not surprised by this development. I’m certain that many predicted it.

When I train about trauma and oppression, I include a discussion of minority stress theory. Minority stress theory studies how social stressors, including those associated with discrimination and “microaggressions,” become chronic stress and negatively impact the mental and physical health of marginalized people. Over time the accumulated stress of oppression, and the constant adaptation required to manage that stress, can make you physically sick and lead to many of the underlying medical conditions that increase the severity of COVID-19. (We’ll be learning about and discussing minority stress theory in my upcoming supervision and consultation group, Trauma, Oppression, and the Therapeutic Relationship.)

If we don’t understand minority stress or take seriously the role that systemic factors play in our physical health, we run the risk of reinforcing the most grotesque tenets of anti-Black racism and white supremacy. The idea that Black people are genetically inferior to white people underlies so many of the realities of racism and anti-Black sentiment in this country‘s history and current reality. This belief is not simply that Black people “deserve” less than white people based on some arbitrary metric, but that there is something inherently deficient about Black bodies.

This pandemic has exposed so much about what’s not working in our systems: our healthcare systems, our economic systems, the systems that govern our connections to family and community. The realities of racial health disparities in our country have not been a secret and did not come into existence when white people “discovered” them. They did not start with this pandemic and the destruction they cause will not end with it. How can we use this moment to ensure that these realities are not forgotten when this current crisis has passed?

The Power of Telling Our Stories

The ethics presentation I wrote about last month at the ETSU Social Work Professional Development Conference was amazing. In a room of over 300 people, there was laughter and tears and learning, and those components are at the center of my most memorable experiences.

Some of what I shared in the presentation was from a 2019 report from the Campaign for Southern Equality called the Southern LGBTQ Health Survey. In the survey, more than half of the 5,600 respondents reported fair or poor mental health, and transgender respondents were significantly more likely to report worse mental health than their cisgender peers.

Unfortunately, 16% of trans respondents and 20% of non-binary respondents also reported that they rarely or never have a positive experience with mental health providers. Less than 20% reported that they always have a positive experience with their mental health providers. These numbers are even worse for youth and those with lower incomes. This tells me that, as field, we have a lot of work to do to improve the experiences of trans and non-binary clients who come to us for help. (Keep reading for a resource to support these improvements.)

My favorite part came at the end of the day when I had the opportunity to moderate a panel discussion where trans and non-binary community members shared the good, the bad, and the ugly of their experiences accessing mental health services. I’ve attended a good number of panels of trans folks sharing their experiences and moderated a few before. Maybe I’ll share more thoughts later about what I think makes those discussions successful for the panelists as well as for the audience, but for now, I just want to bask in my gratitude for how those on the panel showed up with such vulnerability and authenticity and how the audience held that vulnerability with such presence and compassion.

It’s no small feat for a ballroom full of social workers, who have been sitting in straight-backed chairs listening to presentations about trauma since at least 9AM, to stay engaged and present at 4:30 in the afternoon, especially knowing that the snow’s been picking up all day and it might not be that easy to get home. And yet, when the panelists were sharing, sometimes tearfully, about their experiences of transphobia and other forms of oppression and struggles with mental health, you could have heard a pin drop in that ballroom. Or at least that’s what it felt like to me, sitting up on that stage.

The power of telling our stories of marginalization and being heard with understanding, compassion, and shared outrage is undeniable. Sharing our truths and being heard can be so healing. My hope is that those in the room who received these truths can take what they learned, share it with others and use it to transform their work and their workplaces in service of healing and liberation for us all.

The knowledge that trans and non-binary clients (along with other clients with intersecting marginalized identities) are having negative experiences with their mental health providers, alongside the knowledge that there are so many providers who want to offer more affirming services to these clients, is what led me to put together my upcoming supervision and consultation group.

Trauma, Oppression and the Therapeutic Relationship is for anyone who provides mental health and wellness services and knows they could learn more about how trauma and oppression impact their clients' healing process and their therapeutic relationships. While not explicity focused on trans and non-binary clients, this is my area of specialty. We'll discuss models for understanding gender and sexuality, as well as models for understanding trauma and oppression and concepts related to privilege, microaggressions, and internalized oppression. And, perhaps most importantly, we'll talk about how all of this can show up in your office and what to do about it. The details are here, along with an interest form to learn more about whether or not this is the right group for you. I'll hope you'll join me.

In Solidarity,
Heather Branham, LCSW